Are You Over It?
What is the ‘IT’ we are over? Actually there are multiple ITs. See if these sound familiar…
Overwhelmed. Over-worked. Over-giving. Over-doing. Over-responsible. Over-sensitive. Over- tired. Over-extending. Over-indulging. Over-compensating. Over-thinking. Over-accommodating.
Whew!!! These are the ITs we are over! And sadly there are more. As a result we have weary women waiting until they crumble to recognize the truth of their worth and seldom do they value their well-being.
So many women were taught that embodying all these ‘sacrifices of self’ were our destiny. Meeting these imposed unrealistic expectations for eons has made us feel our worth depended only on our our doing and ability to please others, which never seems enough. Hungry for validation we push forward, minimizing the importance of honoring our own needs.
Few of us got the memo that self care is not a selfish act, but a courageous one! It is in fact the greatest gift we can give not only ourselves and our families, but the world. I deeply believe that if the women of the world dared to boldly take a stand for their own happiness, we would see world peace in our lifetime.
Women weren’t designed to handle stress using adrenaline (fight, flight or flee), but we adapted and over-compensated in order to be able to take our place in the patriarchal model of the work world that still, to a greater degree, exists. We did and continue to do a valiant job adapting and accommodating because we are by nature flexible and creative. However, we have done so for long we have abandoned our awareness of the power of a more gentle touch and don’t even remember there is another way. We have lost connection with and confidence in our true nature to tend, befriend and care, where we access an inner strength to protect our young. We are designed to process stress in a feminine way by accessing the hormone of oxytocin, rather than adrenaline. This is why we are so depleted and all of the ways women ‘over’ effort in so many ways causes us to under earn, under value our worth, and under estimate the power of what we have to share.
Even though we have ‘come a long way, baby,’ women still carry a suppressed legacy that we are never enough. We did as we were told in order to play it safe and be accepted. Although the edges are softened, we continue to play according to someone else’s rules. It is like we came in wired to play the Game of Life with integrity, and then we were given the rules for the Game of Monopoly. No wonder we feel like we are falling short, weary, worn out, and over it! By over-riding our essence and intuition and taking on reactivity and force as a way to survive rather than thrive we have totally blown out our adrenals in life-threatening ways and many are falling apart in order to awaken… myself included.
But, enough IS enough! We are enough, and now it is essential for the masculine and feminine to come together in a harmonious dance of mutual respect and honoring, valuing the contribution of both. Men have their healing and awakening to do. They, too, have compromised the true nature of the way they are wired to be and contribute in the world. We all embody both masculine and feminine energy and to experience true wholeness and empowerment we need to be able to draw on the qualities of both. Discernment is key.
As a woman… a boomer woman… I believe there is a resurgence of awareness. It seems that women, especially women 50+, are becoming more and more aware that they have a lot unsaid, are tired of feeling held back, and want to step fully into being authentically and confidently who we are to make a meaningful the surge forward that we instigated in the 60’s.
Now it is time not just to be compliant and complacent, but to rise, speak up, and love ourselves in order to love others. We need to protect, empower and give permission to the little one within us. Al though many have experienced many heartaches at the hands of another, the choice is always our whether we see ourselves as a victim or not. For the benefit of all it is time to give ourselves permission to be whole, alive, and happy.
I am clear I want to see this awakening of all my boomer sisters come to pass before we do! When you cross that ’50’ mark you begin to realize that there is likely less road ahead than behind and time marches on quicker and quicker. It has made me a bit more impatient and fearer for us all to claim a a lifestyle of ‘power-with,’ and no longer be complacent with ‘power-over’ way of being in the world. And, I have 4 grandchildren. This sparks a whole new and deepened determination.
Our power doesn’t come from force or fighting against, but rather through knowing and trusting the truth that comes from within. Happiness is accessible and sustainable when trusting our gut, our intuition our spiritual core, and one another without holding back hindered and haunted by unnecessary shame and guilt. Women, and the ones who love them, are awakening from their slumber and are daring to reclaim their feistiness. They are more determined leave a meaningful mark, big or small, through co-creation and collaboration. Women are primed for, have invested ourselves in, and and are reaching the tipping point, and many women are finally ready to jump up and down on the edge eager to dance and embrace peace and possibilities because it matters and we aren’t getting any younger!
But, how? No more hiding or retreating to the uncomfortable but at least predictable status quo. Happiness exists on the edge of your comfort zone, and you will find trustworthy company there if you dare to nudge forward in spite of your fear.
Self-care… self-love… is the missing piece…the path to peace… the field beyond all right and wrong. It is upon this knowing that I build my work with women. If you are ready to link arms with an unconditionally loving sounding board and access a community of trustworthy support and encouragement, dare to take a stand for your own happiness and well-being by contacting me now! Let’s talk, heart to heart! Come on OVER IT!.
Dorothy, from Oz had it right…
“Somewhere Over The Rainbow”
Somewhere over the rainbow way up high There’s a land that I heard of once in a lullaby Somewhere over the rainbow skies are blue And the dreams that you dare to dream really do come true
Someday I’ll wish upon a star And wake up where the clouds are far Behind me Where troubles melt like lemon drops Away above the chimney tops That’s where you’ll find me
Somewhere over the rainbow bluebirds fly Birds fly over the rainbow. Why then, oh, why can’t I?
Dorothy had it right, except for one thing…
Let ‘someday’ and ‘somewhere’ be here and now. There is no ‘there’ there. Only NOW.
I AM NO WHERE?
Nope…
I AM NOW HERE!
Choose to…
Joy-FULLY,
If you feel this newsletter would make the road of life a bit easier for another, please pass along. Invite all your family and friends to sign up for my newsletter by visiting http://www.centerofhappiness.com. [/vc_column_text][/vc_column][/vc_row]
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