My 63rd birthday is sneaking up. Birthdays usually initiate a wave of reflec-tion, at least for me. And, I suspect I am not the only one pondering this amaz-ing process we go through as we see and feel our body change, our perceptions change, our passions change… and our level of energy. Hmmmm, why? Why is this all the way it is?
Life has been emerging in themes for me lately. One theme close to the surface these days has been ‘aging’. My parents passed when I was in my 40’s, and although I would have loved to have had more time with them, I also feel grate-ful to have that part of my journey, that big ‘letting go’ step, behind me as I see so many of my friends walking that complex journey now with their par-ents.
Not only because of my up-coming birthday, but this particular theme of aging was nudged forward recently when my dear friend, Pop, passed at 102. I treasure that I was with him on his 99th birthday when he renewed his driver’s test with flying colors. Although we all knew that he had to go sometime, we were amazed by his resilience and my heart broke open wide when word of the final exhale came.
At 102 and after a fully lived life Pop has left a lasting legacy of integrity and generosity and has earned his time to live on in spirit. And, he would be the first to say it was perfect timing because his driver’s license had expired! And yet because he remained so joyful and present moment until his passing I somehow held him as immortal. I now let him go wondering how I will ever fill the empty spot left in my heart. It is interesting to feel orphaned at 62! And now he jobs my parents as my allies in other form.
Spending time with Pop was always a treat. He has been in my life since I was 16. I can remember asking him near his 100th birthday as we stood before the push-pin decorated map of all the places he had visited in his life which was his favorite. His reply reflected Pop’s impish guru essence.
He said as he stared at his shoes with his hands in his pocket, his neck wrapped in a flannel scarf and his wide-brimmed straw hat cocked atop his head even though we were indoors, “I’m breathing standing right here, so this must be it!” Ah, such wisdom!
Pop remains a significant male role-model in my life, especially since the pass-ing of my own dad. He is my joy mentor, my sky-diving partner at 80, my hel-icopter pilot over poppy fields, orange peeler all-in-one-piece magician, my fa-ther energy who taught me the power of few words, and tolerant, playful grandfather figure to my kids and grandkids.
He was so himself and so very present moment every step of the way. That is the gift he will ALWAYS be to me, and to many! He remains such a light that twinkles… and his dear Ranch the safe container not only for my childhood, but it has brought joy and repre-sented a place of welcome and belonging for several generations.
With his passing marks the end of an era, and yet his story of life will live on. His gift is the reminder to love every moment just as it is, and at some point deciding to have ice cream on your breakfast cereal simply because you can.
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