Dear Wonderful Ones,
I don’t see myself as an expert. I had a liberal arts education that taught me to be a little bit good at a whole lot of things, but not really excel at anything. Strengths were not encouraged to shine. The end result was that I emerged from elementary and high school not really feeling competent. I didn’t know where I fit and had little clear direction. Conforming was the name of the game for everyone. I conformed as best I could by becoming invisible, by being the good little girl to draw to me the least attention, let they find out I wasn’t capable.
I remember we would all have to line up against the wall just before recess, and to be released to the playground we would each have to answer either a math problem or spelling word. Every day I was full of anxiety and often felt humiliated and full of shame for not being able to think on my feet like everyone else. The truth was that I had undiagnosed learning and processing challenges. No one with learning differences was diagnosed then, however this well intentioned daily exercise set a foundation of ‘not-enoughness’ that still haunts me today.
If we look hard enough, there is a gift or an opportunity buried buried in every challenging experience, and if we are able to place our focus there rather than on the wound, we are free. For me the gift was calligraphy. My 2nd and 4th grade nun did exquisite hand-lettering and most days for that noon lunch hour during which I was denied recess. I would watch her magic pen glide across the paper or help her decorate the classroom walls. This fed my creativity and soothed my soul.
I am sure we all carry a moment, or perhaps many, that shaped our misbelief that we are ‘not enough’ or ‘less than’. I have found it helpful, almost a relief, when I can trace back and identify where the wound began. But, being aware offers insight but doesn’t change much. We must choose to consciously peel off, cancel, delete, and uncreate the old lie and re-write the story in a way that shines light on our innocence and magnificence.
And, then we must act from and apply the new truth to break free of our sense of victimhood. We are enough simply because we breathe. It is our choice, and a worthwhile one, to disempowering the old story rather than clinging to it. It is time for all women to break free by stepping into and owning their worth.
If we cling to the beliefs of our ‘not enoughness’, we remain in survival. We remain hiding in the shadows we remain entrapped as an adolescent feminine regardless of our age. We react and defend rather than respond compassionately. Clinging to the old untruth as real, we never mature into our highest and most mature divine feminine which is so sorely needed to uplift the world.
So, if you haven’t taken the time to do so yet, journal about your life from start to current. Create a bit of a time line. Review your past not to wallow or complain, but to find the weeds that need pulled. The Law of Polarity shows us that to every negative there is a positive. Make it a habit to find and focus on the gift. This is one of the most valuable tools you will ever have. Use this practice that I call the Gift of Opposites to recognize the insight or benefit that exists on the flip-side of the untruth.
A vibrant life full of joy awaits you on the edge of your comfort zone if you are willing to forgive yourself and others quickly. As Oprah often says, “When you know better, you do better.” Now you know better. You know the truth. Let go of victimhood as your reflex way of being and step into the amazing and authentic you that has always been that has been there, only camouflaged by labels.
I invite you to SHAME.LESS and JOY.FULLY
In Joy,
If you feel this newsletter would make the road of life a bit easier for another, please pass along. Invite all your family and friends to sign up for my newsletter by visiting http://www.centerofhappiness.com.
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