Women Have Peace in the Palm of Our Hand

Women see the big picture. It is our nature. Although when necessary we have adapted to linear thinking, we are designed to be multi-taskers, visionaries, and aware of a larger perspective for the greater good. Part of our journey is to build a new bridge between ‘Mars’ and ‘Venus’ by coloring outside the lines, stretching the rules. Women are called somehow to poke around until the new steps reveal a way for men and women to blend our experience, embrace and honor our differences, and unite our gifts in a mutually beneficial way. Without this leap of faith, peace will never happen.

I had to laugh when I heard the observation made by Barbara DeAngeles, a relationship expert, that women and men think and process life like their genitals. She stated, “Women talk in circles and men talk in a straight line!” The truth of this statement stopped me in my tracks.

Sadly, many women have lost a certain sense of knowing who they are as a result of living and working in a man’s world. We have allowed that ‘straight line’ way of being to silence our creativity and hide our compassionate gifts. But, the good news is that many women are now at an edgy place of unrest that is nudging them back into seeing the benefits of their circular way of being in the world.

For centuries, women’s big picture way of being has been discouraged, devalued and suppressed, but women no longer seem comfortable with or capable of remaining silent. Something now is bubbling up and we are actively reclaiming our voices, not in the abrasive feminist style of the 60’s, but with a new emerging face of the feminine that calls for a redefinition of our power, a feisty implementation of our energy, the shining of our grace and a non-violent way of connecting. We need to move forward with clear intention and without interruption, accepting that life is messy, no longer waiting for permission.

While some women are just peeking their heads out from under the covers, others are surging forward with the energy of a beach ball that can no longer be held under water. Some are more aware than others of the legacy of the ancestors that preceded them. There have always been bold women but now they are connecting to share the journey. In big and small ways we are percolating, lunging, inching, and being drawn forward more connected than ever before.

This new face of the feminine calls for leaving our petty differences behind and focusing on what meaningfully matters for the greatest good of all. We must unite inspired by our common ground, rather than allow our differences to contaminated our freedom. Each of us in our own way are choosing to hold again the out-stretched hand of our intuition, and from this place of trusting our self and others, we are sometimes guessing right and sometimes guessing wrong when best to be subtle and when to be bold.

This is just a part of the evolutionary dance of woman. By applying our experience, valuing our wisdom, giving from our hearts, learning how to receive, exposing our strengths, and daring to be prosperous with a feminine touch, we are shedding our scarcity beliefs and sharing our talents with a renewed certainty that we hold a secret to a more peaceful and respectful way of life on our planet.

Now is an exciting time. Women are feeling the pressures for change, and are asking, “What if I really am magnificent? And what if all women lived life as if we believed it until we fully remember our truth?

Regardless of the path we choose, women are daring to step back into their innate essence through their insights, dreams, and actions. Without their visionary thinking, our world will be lacking in innovation and fresh approaches necessary to lead us back to peace.

“But, I’m just little old me?” you might say. “What do I have to contribute?” “I’m not an activist.” “I’m too old.” “I’m too young.” “I don’t have enough time.” “I don’t have enough energy.” “Joey has soccer practice.” “I need to focus on making money.”

Here’s the deal. It’s not necessarily about ‘doing’. It’s about ‘being’ fully who you are in whatever you do! It’s about daring to clarify what you want, and embrace the magnificence of who you are, free of fear.

Here are a few ideas for unleashing your creativity and embracing your role as an evolutionary woman, even if in small ways…

1. Give yourself time If you don’t, no one else will You are responsible for your own happiness, and believe me, everyone else will be happier when you are happier. Set the priority in place and declare your space, then honor it. Build the rest of your life around it. We teach people how to honor us by how we honor our self. If you don’t honor yourself, no one else will.

2. Dare to vision, dream, create, and harness your ideas Turn off your self-critical voice and just allow your creative thoughts to bubble up. It’s fun. No matter how outrageous or silly, far-out or impossible they may seem, catch your ideas, jot them down, tell a trusted friend, ponder over a cup of tea, journal, give them a life, play them out in your imagination, and revisit them from time to time. Like a garden, some will grow and some will not. But don’t discard your creativity before your give it a chance to take root.

3. Acknowledge your strengths Women have been so good at meeting the expectations of others that we have lost touch with what we really want. What is calling you? If we don’t answer this question it becomes easy to blame others for not having what we want. It is so easily get trapped doing what we ’think’ we ‘should’ rather than listening for what pulls at our heart strings. Women ‘allow’ rather than ‘force’ by nature. It’s time to identify what be want, and to fully honoring our own talents and strengths if we are to breathe new life into our magnificence.

As women, we have come to see and accept life being a struggle, and often feel we are swimming upstream weighted down by our fears. An important step for creative women and entrepreneurs is to flush out limited thinking and refocus on all that is working around us. As we shift our beliefs and adjust our perspective life can flow naturally, come more easily, and unfold effortlessly. Celebrate even small steps forward, and know that a bigger picture of forward motion may require a few steps backward. The circumstances don’t matter. It’s the grace with which we manage them makes a difference.

4. Reframe “overwhelm” Challenges need not be an enemy, but can easily be that if perceived as such. Overwhelm is sometimes caused by having too much on our plate. Acknowledgement is often the ‘reward’ from outer sources when we are appearing to be too busy. Overwhelm can become an unconscious way we get attention. Odd as it seems, we manufacture our busy-ness so we can be admired for our overwhelm management skills, rather than choosing a more peaceful way of managing life.

Important steps for calming our busy-ness and overwhelm is to set clear boundaries and to manage our self-care. Dare to say ‘No’ and say ‘Yes’ only when you truly mean it. Respond rather than react. Breathe. Find an appropriate outlet for your frustration and anger. Taking on too many responsibilities will burn you out, blur your focus, and zap your creative abilities. The greatest gift you can give another is to take full accountability and responsibility for your own happiness.

Then, get real with time management. If you are fooling yourself about how you use your time and don’t set clear intentions and priorities to guide your evolution you will feel overwhelmed. You will be zapped of your energy, your focus, as well as the authentic connection to your self and the ones you love.

Overall, live life with clear intentions, clear about what you want, but with a looser grip. Let life lead.

5. Listen beyond words and beyond your own filters Women observe by nature. We drink in the big picture and see the subtle details. We read people’s energy and have those funny inner feelings that forewarn us of conflict ahead. We also have a huge capacity to be loving and compassionate, often at our own expense. When you truly nurture yourself you can authentically serve another.

Notice what is being said beyond the words being used. What do you hear people truly asking for? What are they NOT saying? What are they complaining about? Remove your own biases and filters as you listen. Listen for what they need rather than react to what they feel. Stand in the shoes of another. Ask open-ended questions, look for themes, and expect miracles.

Women are evolving. We are not called to figure out the answer, but rather to allow the answer to come to us. After all, life is a journey, not a destination. Ask yourself often, would you rather be right or happy?

6. Embrace and nurture your intuition Women have hunches, nudges, and knowings. We push them away or kill them with logic. Take time with yourself. Listen for your own voice. Learn to trust and welcome that whispering voice of guidance that stirs within you. Lean into it and follow your hunches and intuitions. Only then will you rediscover they are instrumental in you fully discovering who you are. You are afraid that the one you will find will be horrific and less than wonderful. This is the lie that hold’s women back. The truth is that we are magnificent beyond our belief and can no longer afford to play small.

7. Talk about your ideas Create a circle of trusted friends, a supportive group of women who are willing to lovingly hold you to your highest and best. Weed out those who undermine your success. Don’t surround yourself with those who will allow you to remain a victim of life or who embellish your fears. Place less energy in forcing dysfunctional relationships to work, and instead put your time and energy into cultivating relationships that have a foundation of unconditional love. Life is too short wasting time on a ‘pity party’. Connection is built into a woman’s DNA, so create a mutually safe place with other like-minded women to commit to your evolving personal growth and consciousness. Ask for honest feedback, create and play with them, or call on them when you need help.

Women are so much better at giving than receiving, but you cannot give from an empty cup without eventually feeling resentment. Learn to receive support, and only give from a replenished heart.

8. Play, meander, wander, rest, be still, or go on an adventure If you feel stuck, even when surrounded by a huge pile of ‘shoulds’, change your location, have a good laugh or a good cry. Take a walk. Get out and play. Go do something (anything!) other than what you ‘think’ you ‘should’ be doing. Change your surroundings, your focus, and change your mood. Reconnect with your heart, your body, and your true essence. Make room for your creativity and your perspective to return to you.

Evolutionary women have the innate ability to see the extraordinary in the ordinary. We see the potential and possibilities in just about anything and delight in simple pleasures. When you open your heart to your visionary skills, you will see you are not alone. There is a huge sisterhood of women who see the big picture, are ready to sing, and who with you tenderly hold peace in the palm of their hand.

Copyright 2006, all rights reserved Reprint permission is granted if contact information is included in publication.

Rhonda Hull, Ph.D. Professional Speaker, Mentor, and Author of Drive Yourself Happy: A Motor-vational Maintenance Manual for Maneuvering Through Life

As a professional speaker, happiness mentor, and author of “Drive Yourself Happy”, let Dr. Rhonda Hull act as you ‘life driving instructor’ assisting you as you maneuver the road to personal balance, professional success, and authentic happiness. Rhonda has what it takes to guide you on your journey, making even the potholes along the way a valuable part of the adventure.

Visit: www.detourfromstress.com Comments welcome at info@driveyourselfhappy.com

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